A while back, I was in a sketch at Upright Citizen’s Brigade where I played the world’s fattest girl scout. (Laugh it up, jerks.) About a week later, I was doing laundry and found the dress and started to get really self-conscious. Not because I wore a dress in public, I’m pretty secure in my manhood. No, I was just standing there going, “Oh my god, I can NOT believe I am a size fourteen!”