June 2009
13 posts
1 tag
Farrah well
When I was like 4 my dad won me a poster at the fair. One side was a picture of a bulldog that they tacked up facing out in my bedroom. On the back however was Farrah in her red bathing suit and her high beams. Every now and then, and I didn’t know why at the time, I’d pull up the left tack and stare at the back side of the poster and just get really happy about life in general.
Any directors out there?
When his daughters are assaulted and tortured by escaped outlaws, a pioneer and his wife take matters into their own hands… In… Little House on the Left.
Just discovered google voice search. Billions of $ of r&d culminated with me laughing when it recognized shit stain.
At the gym. From the smell of things the guy doing squats next to me may very well have shat himself.
I got in and saw I left my front door open all night. Either I live in a nice neighborhood, or my stuff isn’t worth stealing. Probably both.
I am a complete derelict unfit for interaction with the general public. I was looking for a headshot to send to a fest and found a file saved as “tophotoshopadickinto.jpg”
When did Ron Jeremy start coaching the Magic?
I'm a Liar
Recently, I’ve been trying something new. Lying. I’m a pretty honest guy, and I don’t do this to authority figures or friends or family (in case they’re reading this). But, I have been finding a problem with telling the truth to the homeless. It’ll start with, “Sorry man, I don’t have any cash,” or, “I’ll get you on the way out,...
I Wish I was a New Yorker
I come from the South, and as a Southerner, with a nice redneck family, I do have a nice long history of oral tradition and ball busting. I can say that I’m going to get things like, “trim,” or, “some strange,” or yell, “come on girl, show me them titties!” All from behind a mustache as I’m driving an uncle’s mid-eighties Trans Am T-Top.
But,...